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1 (866) 640.1010
matecheck@matecheckpi.com
He
or She Is Who They Claim To Be!
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Hello and welcome to
www.DateChecked.com ,
the first of its kind to obtain valuable information on the person
you have interest in before you wonder, "Is he or she all they
claim to be?” www.DateChecked.com
offers you peace of mind before, during and after searching for your
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already begun.
For years, Sandra Hope, a private investigator and owner of Mate
Check Private Investigations, has been receiving numerous calls
wanting to know if the person they met on a dating service was
really who they said they were. This is what prompted Sandra to take
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When you find that special someone on DateChecked.com, you will have
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This is how DateChecked.com works: To join DateChecked.com, click on
the join button. Fill out all of the questions about yourself along
with your credit card information. All of your information is
completely confidential and your background will not be put on your
profile until it is approved by you. There will also be a space for
any comments or explanations that you would like to let your
potential match know if you so choose. Once your background is
completed it will be e-mailed to you for your approval. Once you
have approved your background search, it will be put on your profile
and you can start looking for your perfect match. DateChecked.com is
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the real you.
DateChecked.com costs $199.00 dollars to join for six (6) months,
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Sandra Hope, owner of Mate Check Private Investigations, has found a
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Don't let the horror stories you
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investigator working for you, and looking out for your best interests.
Even the largest online dating services offer no sheild of
protection. There was this guy who believed he was sending
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an online relationship and when he realized he had been ripped off
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and we learned their was no beautiful woman, their was a 300lbs man
on the other end recieving the money. Women have been raped and
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DateChecked.com run by Sandra Hope the worlds leading expert female
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new person in your life. To start with the truth is the best way to
build a foundation on a relationship.
Tips for Safe Online Dating
1. John M. Grohol, Psy.D.
December 15, 2003
Dating services have been around for
decades, but it's only been in the past 6 or 7 years that they've
really taken off online. Here are a few tips we've cobbled together
that should help you safely navigate what is, for many, new online
terrain. All of the below is the best advice given bu make sure that
you make use of a private investigator to verify they are all they
claim to be before you com into contact with them. Do not meet a
person anywhere or send money until you check them out. You can
confidentially do this without their knowledge. Your safety is most
important, but see an investigator before you take it to the next
level until then have fun dating online.
www.matecheckpi.com
Staying Anonymous for Awhile
Most online dating services use a double-blind system to allow
members to exchange correspondence between each other. This allows
members to communicate, but without knowing each other's email
addresses or other identifying personal information. It's best to
use the dating service's internal, secure messaging system until you
feel as though you know the person to some degree. This ensures that
when you do run into the inevitable creep online, you remain
anonymous and safe. Be RealisticPrince (or Princess) Charming may
very well indeed be waiting for you online, but you should also set
your expectations just a little bit lower. Most of your dates will
turn out to be duds. That's just the statistics! So it helps prepare
yourself if you remember that going into the online dating process.
Don't believe that everyone who shows interest in you is worth your
time. And don't get disenchanted if your first date decides they
don't want a second. It's easy to believe they are rejecting you
personally, but it's for the best. After all, you're looking for a
good, mutual match, not someone to swoon over. (But hey, if you find
someone to swoon over, that's cool too!) Being realistic also
means setting realistic expectations about geography. The Internet
allows us to search for and communicate with people from all over
the world, regardless of their proximity to us. Unfortunately, that
makes a real dating relationship difficult once you have to
translate it into the real world. So if you're not willing to fly to
Paris to meet Mr. Frenchie, then don't look for anybody outside of
your local community. Keep in mind, that 50 mile drive for the first
date might seem like no big deal, but imagine doing that multiple
times a week if things got serious. It can (and has) been done, but
know what you're getting yourself into beforehand.
Use Common Sense
It's funny I have to write those words, but they are just so
important. We sometimes feel like we've made an "instant connection"
online with someone we've only just met. Some of that feeling is a
result of the disinhibition that's a part of being anonymous on the
Internet today. So go slowly with new contacts and get to know the
person via messaging and emails first. Then proceed to phone calls
if you still feel safe, attracted, and curious. Finally, setup a
first date when the time is right.
Don't agree to do something just because it sounds like fun or
exciting if it's really not you. The point of online dating isn't to
reinvent yourself or to try out everything new under the sun. It's
to find someone you're most compatible with, which means being
yourself. So while it may sound romantic to agree to fly off to the
Bahamas on a moment's notice with someone you barely know, it isn't
very good common sense to do so. Keep your wits and instincts about
you.
Proceed Slowly and Listen to Your
Instinct
As I wrote above, you need to take things slowly, even when it seems
or feels right immediately, or the other person is pressuring you
into meeting more fast than you are comfortable with. Take things at
your pace. If the other person is a good match for you, then they
will not only understand your pace, but will often mirror it! Always
talk to the other person by telephone at least once before agreeing
to meet for your first date. Ask for a photo (if they didn't provide
one in their profile) so that you can be assured of meeting the
right person. Be on the lookout for inconsistencies in their history
or any stories they tell you of their life, background, or growing
up. Ask informative questions of the other person to ensure they
match what and who they say they are in their profile.
Don't feel the need to give out your phone number if you're not
comfortable doing so. Instead, ask for theirs and remember to put in
the code for blocking caller ID before making the call. There's no
need to be paranoid about your privacy, but at the same time, it is
wise to take simple precautions that will ensure you remain safe
until you are completely comfortable. Some people also use a cell
phone or even a public pay phone to ensure their potential match
can't get their home telephone number. Do what feels best and right
for you. Remember, you don't have to meet everyone you communicate
with online. Some people will obviously not be right for you and you
can politely say so before ever progressing to a phone call or first
date. Online dating empowers you to make choices that are right for
you. So feel free to make those choices, even if you are typically
not used to doing so.
First Dates Should Be in Public
This is a no-brainer, but sometimes, even the obvious needs to be
said. Never agree to meet at the other person's place or to pick
them up. Agree to meet in a public place. Most people find a
restaurant is ideal, as it gives you both something else to
concentrate on from time to time to break up the awkward moments. It
also ensures that both parties are on their best behavior, while
still allowing you the opportunity to see how your match behaves in
a public situation. Be an astute observer during that first date,
and don't drink too much (if you drink at all). The purpose of a
first date is to not only see if there is a mutual attraction, but
to learn more about the other person in their own words and see how
they communicate their intentions non-verbally. By paying attention
to all of these cues and information, you will learn a lot more
about your match.
If you need to travel to another location on the date, always take
your own car or transportation. Always arrange for backup
transportation (e.g., a friend) if you've relied on public
transportation for a meeting. Let a friend or two know that you'll
be out on a date and if possible, have your cell phone with you at
all times, on and charged. (If you don't own a cell phone, ask to
borrow a friend's for the evening, or purchase an inexpensive
pay-as-go type from your local Wal-Mart or Best Buy). You hope these
are mostly unnecessary precautions, but better safe than sorry. Be
on the Lookout for Red Flags Not everyone has similar morals or
outlooks on life as you do. Some folks can do a pretty good job at
hiding their true agenda, even if you've followed most of these
tips. First dates (and second dates and even third dates) are for
people to be on their best behavior, so you may not always see the
"true self" behind the person you're sitting across from. Sometimes,
though, people can't be on their good behavior for that long and
signs begin to appear.
Look for:
Avoids answering directly to questions, especially those about
issues that are important to you. It's okay if people joke about
their answer, but eventually they need to get around to answering
the question or explain why they feel uncomfortable doing so.
Demeaning or disrespectful comments about you or other people. How
your match treats others can be a telling sign into their future
behaviors. Inconsistent information about any basics, especially
anything within their profile. This especially includes marital
status, children, employment, where they are living, but also things
such as age, appearance, education, career or the like Is nothing
like the way they describe themselves in their online profile.
Physically inappropriate or unwanted behavior (e.g., touching,
kissing). Pushes quickly to meet in person. Avoids phone contact.
Be Sexually Responsible
Inevitably, some online dating is going to lead to a sexual
relationship. This is not the time to start being coy. Know your
partners' sexual background by asking direct, frank questions about
the number of partners he or she has been with, whether protection
was always used, how well they knew the people (was it mostly
serious relationships or just one night flings?), and whether they
have any known sexually transmitted diseases. Yes, it's not easy to
talk about these sorts of things, but it's important to do so before
your first night in bed. When in doubt, definitely use a condom.
Long-Distance Dating
If you've made the decision to date long-distance, make a note of it
in your profile. Since travel is usually expensive for most people,
be realistic about your ability to see the other person. Ensure you
feel completely comfortable with the other person before making your
first trip to see them. If possible, make all of your travel plans
yourself and arrange to stay at a hotel. Get a rental car if you
need to get around town with your date. Avoid making dates at your
hotel's restaurant or having your match meet you at your hotel. Only
after you've met and feel completely comfortable should you share
such information with the other person. While some of this may seem
a bit silly at first, you need to protect yourself until you are
certain the other person is legitimate and you are comfortable with
them. Remember, you're the only person you have to answer to
at the end of the day. If you don't feel comfortable in any
particular situation, that doesn't mean you're a bad person or
you're not ready for dating. It simply means that you're not
comfortable with the other person in this situation. You don't need
to apologize for needing to leave a date or anytime you feel you are
in a threatening situation. Your safety should always be something
that is on your mind throughout the entire dating process. Relax
your guard when you've met the person face-to-face and feel entirely
comfortable with who they are and how they relate to you and those
around you. As the old saying goes, there are plenty of fish in the
sea. Don't pin all of your hopes on one person, until you're sure
your feelings are returned. Keep an open mind, an open heart, and
most of all, your common sense.
DISCLOSURE
All information on DateChecked backgrounds are based on the
information given by the member. All information on DateChecked
backgrounds should be current on the date the information is pulled
by DateChecked. Any and all information such as, criminal, civil,
judgments, liens, bankruptcy, order of protection, order of
harassment, DUI’S, traffic tickets, marriages, vehicle, property,
etc, that occurs after the date of the background search is
preformed , would not be known by DateChecked and Date- Checked
would not be responsible for any new information. All information
given by any member is confidential and will not be revealed to
anyone for any reason. Date- Checked accepts no responsibility and
encourages each member to date responsibly and carefully.
DateChecked is not responsible for information that is not made
public or any incident not recorded as of the time of the search.
DateChecked cannot verify the member’s identity joining DateChecked
and can only depend on the information he/she has disclosed to
DateChecked for their background profile. DateChecked offers a
background search for you to view to make a perfect match. If you
would like additional information on a member, DateChecked has
provided you with an easy one-click solution in order to find
additional information about a potential date or if the relationship
is going to the next level. All Mate Check Private Investigations
charges, or charges from any other resources you may choose to
employ, are sole and separate from DateChecked.com.
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Guest
Editorial:
Yes Virginia... there Really is
Online "Dating"
by
James Houran, Ph.D.
(February 2006) It’s exciting to
be a new member of the team at
Online Dating Magazine; everyone has
made me feel so welcome. I also
appreciate our publisher, Joe Tracy,
allowing me to take the soapbox this
month. Mine is not so much a gripe,
but rather a clarification about the
term "online dating."
I recently read a poignant
article(6)
in the San Francisco Chronicle about
the conversion of a once true
believer. For 11 years, the
so-called father of web logging (blogging)
and online diarists, Justin Hall,
was dedicated to documenting his
life online. He was one of the most
committed advocates for the bonding
powers of interactive, web-based
writings and online interactions.
Hall even explored online dating,
like millions of other modern day
romantics out there. But now, Hall
has expressed serious doubt over the
Internet’s ability to foster
intimacy. As a result, the father of
blogging has sadly ended his online
presence.
My take on this media report is
that Hall concluded that genuine
connection among people in
cyberspace is pretty much a facade.
What’s this have to do with
clarifying the term "online dating?"
Well, online dating and relationship
services both fall under the rubric
of the "online matchmaking
industry." As such, the industry’s
primary mission is to provide a
comfortable forum for people to meet
and get to know each other. What I’m
talking about is promoting genuine
connections. However, I’ve heard
many people claim that online dating
is a misnomer – that people don’t
really "date" online but rather
simply meet there. They go on to say
that online dating sites are
basically nothing more than "online
introduction services." Frankly, I
couldn’t disagree more. Contrary to
Justin Hall’s unfortunate
experience, and what others may say,
I’m convinced that online
interactions can be just as
powerful, meaningful and lasting as
their real-world counterparts.
Merriam-Webster’s Online
Dictionary defines a date as "an
appointment to meet at a specified
time; especially: a social
engagement between two persons that
often has a romantic character." No
where does that definition restrict
social appointments or engagements
with respect to place or context.
So, the real question is whether two
romantically-minded people can
actually have a meaningful and
productive social interaction
online.
The answer to that question seems
to be a resounding "yes."
Furthermore, some authorities even
hint that Internet is the location
of choice for today’s social
gatherings. For example, Stowe Boyd,
the charismatic and deeply
intelligent President of the Corante
think tank, argued that cyberspace
is the new "third place"(3).
Third places are settings that are
psychologically and physically apart
from home and work(9).
They are the core settings for
informal public life – places where
people relax and network like coffee
shops, bars, hair salons, beer
gardens, pool halls, and civic
clubs.
Involvement in informal public
life has important psychological,
social, and political consequences,
and such involvement is made
possible by the existence of third
places. Yet, sociologists(9,
10) suggest
that capitalist society has been
eroding traditional third places.
Nearly 500,000 interviews over the
last quarter century reveal that we
sign fewer petitions, belong to
fewer organizations requiring our
physical presence, know our
neighbors less, meet with friends
less frequently and even socialize
with our families less often(10).
Consequently, those in the know like
Stowe Boyd are not surprised that
many people seeking human
interaction flock to online
communities, such as chat rooms,
discussion forums, and online dating
and social networking websites(3).
Obviously, cyberspace is not a
healthy "third space" for everyone,
but there are research studies
demonstrating that deep and lasting
relationships can develop over the
Internet. Of course, it’s only fair
at this point also to note a few
caveats. First, some people may have
quite inaccurate perceptions of
other people’s personalities when in
communicating over the Web(11).
In other words, some of us aren’t
that good at drawing accurate
pictures of others over the Web.
Second, Internet socialization may
promote certain individuals to
develop "fantasy identities." I’m
sure you know what I mean here
already – older men posing as
younger men or even women and
married people posing as eligible
singles.
But notwithstanding caveats like
these, sociologist Michael Hardey(4,
5) found
that the disembodied anonymity that
characterizes the Internet can act
as a foundation for the building of
trust and the establishment of real
world relationships. Other experts
have come to similar conclusions. In
a clever series of experiments,
McKenna and colleagues(8)
showed that individuals meeting for
the first time online are more
likely to reveal their "true selves"
(who they really think they are)
rather than their "actual selves"
(how they think they should be
seen). In addition, people tend to
like each other more when they first
meet over the Internet, as opposed
to face-to-face. Finally, by
researching actual Web users,
McKenna’s research team found that
deep relationships do form over the
Internet. When those online
relationships are integrated into
one's real world social life, they
remain stable over time—indeed,
often proving more long-lived than
relationships formed through
face-to-face introductions.
Taking this further, researcher
Andrea Baker examined the question
of what factors differentiate
successful and unsuccessful couples
who first met online(2).
She concluded that four general
variables signaled a couple’s
capacity for long-term
"compatibility:"
» Where they meet:
the overlap of specific
interests as represented by the
type of site they enter for a
first encounter online signals
long-term compatibility.
» What they will do
to be together:
obstacles of distance, jobs and
finances, and other
relationships are negotiated so
that past attachments are
diminished and at least one
partner will relocate.
» When they interact:
taking a lengthy period of time
to get to know each other online
before meeting face-to-face and
postponing sexual involvement
promotes longevity of
relationships.
» How they
communicate: learning
to handle each others’ styles of
communication even when
conflicts occur online enhances
online and then offline
satisfaction and cooperation.
My interpretation of Baker's
findings is that prolonged and
non-superficial contact can help
counter the inherent drawbacks of
"hyperpersonal communication." This
dry and academic piece of jargon
reflects the unique characteristics
of online interactions and
communications. To be sure, many
social science experts believe that
online interactions are
fundamentally different from other
forms of interpersonal or mass
communications. Specifically,
individuals in chat-rooms and
newsgroups have much less
information about other participants
(verbal and nonverbal cues) with
which they might make attributions
or form impressions of others. For
example, in a chat room, the only
information one has available about
a conversational partner is
information the partner chooses to
make available, such as a screen
name that may or may not be a useful
cue and personal information that
s/he chooses to disclose that may
either be truthful or intentionally
deceiving. This all doesn’t mean
that people can’t date online; it's
just means it can be a tad more
complicated than dating someone
offline.
Online daters are inherently
hyperpersonal communicators. What
this means is that they’re forced to
rely on broad assumptions in order
to make inferences about the other,
as well as inflate these perceptions
of the other based on the restricted
cues that are available(12).
Therefore, online dating and social
networking companies sincerely
interested in promoting authentic
and long-term relationships should
emphasize prolonged communication
among its customers. This is
especially true given that
individuals tend to develop trust
with others fairly quickly online(15).
Research has only recently begun
to address the subject of online
relationship development. It should
also be noted that the nature of
online relationships clearly varies.
However, it’s also clear that
flirting and dating and other forms
of social networking constitute an
important aspect of the Internet
phenomenon(1,
13,
14). To my way of
thinking, the "tools" of online
dating such as detailed personal
profiles, personality and
compatibility testing, digital
photographs, webcams, real-time chat
capabilities and email and Instant
Messaging help overcome the
so-called restricted cues in online
impression formation. What this does
is reduce many of the limitations of
hyperpersonal communication. In
fact, the tools of online dating and
social networking nicely promote –
and may even prolong – authentic
communication among individuals. To
me, this is the crux of the
definition of dating and is the
necessary first step to a long-term
relationship.
There's no question that the
tools of online dating can promote
prolonged and meaningful
communication among netizens. And
there is also no question in my mind
that many online interactions meet
the definition of a "date," since
we’ve seen that online interactions
can be valid social engagements
between two persons that have a
romantic character. In fact, the
myriad of online dating tools may
well help online daters maintain
rather realistic expectations of
relationships when online
relationships are taken offline. For
instance, in a study I published
with statistician and social
psychologist Rense Lange, we found
that attitudes of online daters’
toward online dating don’t
significantly distort the
anticipated quality and quantity of
their computer dates(7).
Moreover, on average the
participants in our study reported
an anticipated 50% probability that
individuals rated as "perfectly
compatible" by online testing
methods would prove satisfactory
when met in person. Holding a 50%
probability in one’s mind is akin to
the classic philosophical question:
"Is the glass half empty or half
full?" When you consider that, it
appears that online daters are at
once optimistic and realistic about
online prospects and relationships
that begin on the Internet.
The bottom line: the Internet can
foster deep and lasting platonic or
romantic relationships. Online
matchmaking facilitates this process
by providing ample technological
tools and features that encourage
and sustain meaningful communication
among online daters. Not everyone
will find a soul mate, but hopefully
most online interactions won’t end
in significant disappointment like
that of Justin Hall.
Yes, Virginia… done responsibly
and correctly there really is online
"dating."
Related Links:
»
The Truth About Compatibility
Testing
References
1. Ahuvia, A. C., & Adelman,
M. B. (1992). Formal intermediaries
in the marriage market: a typology
and review. Journal of Marriage and
Family, 54, 452-463.
2. Baker, A. (2002). What makes an
online relationship successful?
Clues from couples who met in
cyberspace. Cyberpsychology and
Behavior, 5, 363-375.
3. Boyd, S. (2004). Social tools and
the ‘third space’ in Europe. Paper
presented at the iDate 2004
International Dating Conference,
Nice, France, July 15-16.
4. Hardey, M. (2002). Life beyond
the screen: embodiment and identity
through the Internet. Sociological
Review, 50, 570-585.
5. Hardey, M. (2004). Mediated
relationships. Information,
Communication and Society, 7,
207-222.
6. Harmanci, R. (2005). Time to get
a life – pioneer blogger Justin Hall
bows at 31. San Francisco Chronicle,
Sunday, February 20, Section A-1.
http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/c/a/2005/02/20/MNGBKBEJO01.DTL.
Accessed 2/20/05.
7. Houran, J., & Lange, R. (2004).
Expectations of finding a ‘soul
mate’ with online dating. North
American Journal of Psychology, 6,
297-308.
8. McKenna, K.Y.A., Green, A.S., &
Gleason, M.E.J. (2002). Relationship
formation on the Internet: What’s
the big attraction? Journal of
Social Issues, 58, 9-32.
9. Oldenburg, R. (1991/1999). The
great good place. New York: Marlowe
& Co.
10. Putnam, R. D. (2000). Bowling
alone: the collapse and revival of
American community. New York: Simon
& Schuster.
11. Rouse, S. V., & Haas, H. A.
(2003). Exploring the accuracies and
inaccuracies of personality
perception following
Internet-mediated communication.
Journal of Research in Personality,
37, 446-467.
12. Walther, J. B. (1996).
Computer-mediated communication:
Impersonal, interpersonal, and
hyperpersonal interaction.
Communication Research, 23, 3-43.
13. Whitty, M. T. (2003).
Cyber-flirting: Playing at love on
the Internet. Theory and Psychology,
13, 339-357.
14. Whitty, M. T. (2004).
Cyber-flirting: An examination of
men’s and women’s flirting behaviour
both offline and on the Internet.
Behaviour Change, 21, 115-126.
15. Whitty, M. & Gavin, J. (2001).
Age/sex/location: Uncovering the
social cues in the development of
online relationships.
CyberPsychology & Behavior, 4, 623 –
630.
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