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1 (866) 640.1010 He or She Is Who They Claim To Be! Be one of the first to join! You will not be charged until the member base is at a running capacity, to be determined by Date Checked. This is totally new! Call, e-mail or fill out our contact form if you are interested.Hello and welcome to www.DateChecked.com, the first safe online, dating service. DateChecked.com is a platform for people to meet online and explore possibilities of dating each other. Dating is not really safe nowadays, and one has no choice but to tread cautiously all along the way. One is besieged by fears about one’s date, who he/she really is, is he being honest, can he be trusted. The truth about a person often comes out long after a rapport has been developed between two people, and the grieved partner finds himself being taken for a merry ride. What follows is heartbreak, as softer feelings have already surfaced. Sometimes, one does not know enough about the other person and by the time crucial questions are asked, it is too late. This is where DateChecked can be of immense help. www.DateChecked.com is a safe dating service, started by Sandra Hope, a private investigator and founder of Mate Check Private Investigations. For years, she had been receiving calls from people seeking her advice about ways to find out more about the person they were dating, wanting her help in ascertaining whether they really were who they claimed to be. This is what prompted Sandra to start a service that would enroll members, find out every intricate detail about them, and this information would assist other members interested in them. Sandra has proved her credentials as a world-class private investigator and detective. Her field of specialization extends to domestic affairs, infidelity issues, divorce, child custody and searching for loved ones. Hence, she is best equipped to check out the newest person in your life. It is her firm belief that being honest at the outset is the best way to build a strong foundation of a relationship that might eventually prove to be long lasting. Honesty and being forthright is what she encourages members to be. Knowing all about the other person and sharing everything about you in the beginning, gives a relationship a better chance to be successful. This way many issues would be addressed. Firstly, the member who finds a potential date does not have to live in fear about, ”when will I tell her about……”.There are always skeletons in everyone’s cupboard that everyone wants to hide, but they always tumble out sooner or later. But with this safe dating service, he knows that the person ready to date him, already accepts everything about him. This is a positive beginning for the relationship. Secondly, there is a distinct feeling of security and comfort that the potential date is not a dangerous person who can harm them. Thirdly, one knows at the outset what kind of a person they are going to be dating, so there is no ambiguity about them. Finally, a bit of information about the dating partner gives one an opening about how to start off a conversation. DateChecked.com thus becomes a comfort provider before, during and after a good match is found. The possibility of living in regret is minimal, the question of being stuck with a wrong person does not arise, fears about the future put at rest, simply because www.DateChecked.com does all the preliminary ground work for every relationship set to take off. Whatever the outcome there is peace of mind and a feel-good feeling that one is safe.
THE WORKING OF DATECHECKED.COM To join DateChecked, log on to the website, www.DateChecked.com, click on the join button and start answering all the questions that scroll down, as honestly as possible. Your credit card information will also have to be provided. All the information you enter remains strictly confidential, and when your profile is being finalized, only those details will be added which you approve of. In case there is additional information or some explanation pertaining to certain facts in your profile, it is possible to do so in the additional space provided. This is particularly useful for potential dates. DateChecked does not edit information to make a profile look perfect, because this service is not there to judge or analyze individuals, its sole aim is to provide backgrounds about people as they are, good or bad. The person the world comes across through DateChecked is the real you, not what you might like to be, and this is how DateChecked proves its credentials as a reliable and safe dating service. Sandra Hope, the owner of Mate Check Private Investigations, has evolved a way to find the right person the first time, instead of going round in circles, first dating someone, then hiring private investigators to get details about them, finding out disturbing details, and then not knowing what to do, continue the relationship, or dump the partner. DateChecked’s fool-proof method that has been evolved for members, prevents unnecessary expense, anxiety, mishaps of any kind, and often, even heartbreak.
DateChecked.com charges an amount of $199.00 to join for six months. This is inclusive of their charges to conduct a background search on you, and also unlimited searches for your ideal match. Every member is permitted to view the backgrounds of other members till he comes across a person whom he seems to like. The amount debited from your credit card comes under the heading of DateChecked, and this is a non-refundable payment, which will not be refunded to you even if the background search does not meet with your approval, or if you want to withdraw your membership for some reason. In case you find that some of the background information is incorrect, DateChecked cannot alter the records or go about calling parties on your behalf to amend the information. This will have to be done by the person himself, after which he can rejoin. Rejoining means paying a sum of $199.00 again.
DateChecked.com is one of a kind, a safe dating service par excellence that provides a protective shield to each of its members. It is the shield that comes with information, the comfort of an investigator behind you, and the fact that someone is looking out for your best interests, who will not let you get duped. Other dating services, even the very large organizations offer no such security. A case in point is about a man who developed a dating relationship online with a beautiful lady, and decided to send her money to fly out to come and meet him. He soon realized that he had been duped, and turned to Mate Check Private Investigations. The agency soon found out that there actually had been no beautiful lady; instead, the person who received the money was actually a man weighing 300 lbs! There have been other instances of women being raped and killed, even though one would expect online dating to be a much safer option as there is no initial contact, and the partners meet at a later stage after having developed some kind of a rapport with each other. The safety angle that is an added plus in signing up with DateChecked.com makes the prospect of online dating far more appealing than with any other.
TIPS FOR ONLINE DATING 1, John M. Grohol, Psy.D. December 15, 2003
Online dating is a relatively new phenomenon, even though dating services have been around for decades. This could be a new experience for you, and we would like to suggest a few safety measures that would help you navigate successfully through what could be an interesting online terrain. Besides these tips, it would be appropriate to engage a private detective who would make discreet enquiries and verify details about your prospective date, so that you can feel comfortable that your partner actually is what he claims to be. But till you get a positive feedback from your investigator, do not meet your date in person, or send him any money. Till then, let online dating be an enjoyable experience with few revelations and minimal leads to personal identification.
STAYING ANONOYMOUS FOR A WHILE Most dating services have a secure internal messaging system that allows members to communicate with each other without revealing their identities, email addresses or any other personal details. It is highly recommended that members use this facility to remain anonymous for sometime, at least till some semblance of a relationship begins to develop, and one feels with conviction that the partner is not a rogue or a creep. It also becomes easier to walk out after an initial communication without being threatened, because you do not leave a trace behind. Keeping your threshold of expectations low is advisable so as to avoid disappointment later. There are many successful relationships that have had online beginnings, many that have culminated in marriage, but there are those that do not take off at all. A first encounter may not be positive but a second one might be the ideal mate or at least enjoyable company to start with. Going into a relationship with lower expectations raises the probability of its success. There should be no desperation that the relationship has to work. On the contrary, a failed attempt must not give a negative boost to your morale-one way of looking at it could be that the person was not good enough for you to waste time on. It is important to shake off lack of success a first time and move on rather than letting it nurture negative emotions and lower your sense of self worth. While setting out on an online dating path, geographical distances must also be kept in mind. Where online dating is concerned, the world is a stage and geographical boundaries do not exist. Physical distances are a hard fact that cannot be wished away. These are facts that must be borne in mind because it is not always easy or affordable to fly to Paris to meet the groovy Frenchman, or find a date scores of miles away. No one minds driving tens of miles a first time, but if a rapport develops, doing so multiple times each week can be painful. Romantic people might shake this off, but the practical aspect must not be ignored, as the stress of the commute will lead to other problems later.
USE YOUR COMMON SENSE The world of the internet is an open, informal arena where people shake off inhibitions, throw caution to the wind, and can dare to be more than themselves. With anonymity as the key to all this, it becomes easier to make instant connections, and even lead someone on, just for fun. To ward off such an eventuality, it is imperative that you be cautious, tread slowly and use your common sense instead of being swept off your feet. The recommended one step at a time approach is always safer. To start with communicate through emails and messages, move on to chatting online, followed by phone calls. Only when you feel comfortable and are attracted to the person after getting to know him a bit, should you set up your first date. Be on the look out for signs that might reveal a lack of seriousness, or that the other partner is out to have fun at your expense. Dating must not change the person you are or get you to behave or do things that are not typically your style. While it is easy to abandon yourself to romance, it may not be a rational approach towards the goal of finding a trustworthy partner, who shares your ideals, morals and values, and who seems compatible. Flying off to the Bahamas at a moment’s notice, or deciding on something reckless in the flash of a second, appear romantic only as stories to be told, not as real life situations. It is always better to follow your instincts with your head firmly on your shoulders while taking decisions.
PROCEED SLOWLY AND LISTEN TO YOUR INSTINCT In these days of instant fix for everything, patience and waiting are forgotten terms. But caution is essential when stepping into any relationship, and moving slowly, cautiously will pay dividends later. There might be pressure from your partner to meet sooner, but stick to your pace and agree only when you think it is appropriate to meet. If the partner cares, and is your kind, he would think similarly too and would follow the same pace himself. Any one wanting to hasten meeting, should put you on guard, and you should find out the reason for the hurry. Before agreeing to meet in person, it is preferable to have at least one phone conversation. The idea being to proceed on step at a time-first getting to know each other online, if that appeals, you move to a phone conversation, to appreciate your partner’s sound and style of talking. If that is pleasing too, then it is time to meet, but an exchange of photographs would give both an idea about physical attributes and make it easier to recognize each other when they come face to face. The first meeting is more of an information gathering exercise; try to get as much information about the partner, all the time looking out for inconsistencies between previously stated facts and ones shared across the table. Questions asked must not be pointed to such an extent that it seems like an interview, nonetheless they should bring out answers that reveal a lot about the person. Being comfortable with your partner on your first date is of utmost importance. You are still not duty bound to share more personal details than you would care to give. You do not have to give your home phone number or address if you do not feel like, a cell phone number is better and less revealing. Instead, you can take his number and use a public phone to call him, or do so with your caller identity blocked. Listen to your instinct at all times. Do not agree to meet anyone if you do not feel like it. Online communication does not make it obligatory for people to meet; you have the right to refuse meeting the person you have been in contact with. This is the advantage of online dating, it empowers you to make choices, and backtrack at any point if you are not comfortable with the situation.
FIRST DATES SHOULD BE IN PUBLIC Once an online relationship has taken off and it is time to meet in person, venue selection becomes important. The first date must always be in a public place, preferably a restaurant, as it provides something else to focus on besides two relative strangers. The ambience of a restaurant ensures that people are careful about attire and are on best behavior-never loud or rowdy. It is an ideal place to see your partner interacting with others and provides more insights into his personality. Never agree to pick up, or be picked up from home or the hotel where you might be staying. Use your own car or other modes of transport with a backup plan in case of public transport. A friend or two must know your whereabouts and be open to picking you up if need be. Your fully charged cell phone must be switched on, and in case you do not possess one, it’s a good time to get one, or at least borrow one. The idea behind this being that you stay connected and other people have access to you and can trace you if necessary. There may not be any reason to be suspicious or overly cautious but occasionally one comes across people who are good at hiding their true agenda, and may not share the same set of morals and values. Be an astute observer on your first date, keeping away from alcohol, as you are not out to find any romantic undercurrents between the two of you, instead you are out on a familiarization exercise where minute details and body language help you gauge the true nature and intentions of a partner.
LOOK FOR: Inconsistencies in behavior or statements, evading answering questions, discrepancies in factual information like job position, children, marital status, age, education and so on, are warning signals to look out for. Your partner’s attitude towards others, being rude or passing demeaning comments reveal an unpleasant personality trait and is reflective about his future behavior. Physically inappropriate behavior like touching, kissing is another no-no. You must look out for softer qualities like being gentle and polite, as these are truly reflective of his character, but these must not be superficial, and if you watch closely you will be able to gauge how genuine every act is. Some people wear a thin veil of being decent while actually may not be so. Look for cracks and the truth is sure to come out.
BE SEXUALLY RESPONSIBLE An online date can lead to a physical relationship in just the same manner as any other date. Here again, one must exercise caution, and before taking the plunge, get all the essential information about your partner’s sexual background. Gather your guts to ask pointed questions about the number of partners, were they serious or merely one-night stands, any protection used, any sexually transmitted diseases he may be suffering from, and so on. Asking for such details is awkward and embarrassing, but on a first night together, answers to these questions can change the outcome. And finally, when in doubt, use a condom!
LONG DISTANCE DATING In the process of initiating online dating, one might begin communicating with someone thousands of miles away. If you are not averse to dating long distance, it can even be mentioned in your profile. But a point to remember is that travel is not cheap, and it is a good idea to first check if it is affordable and not a strain on your finances. In any case, the starting point would be dating online first. Once a rapport has developed and you are comfortable with the person online, only then should you consider flying out to meet him. You must plan the trip yourself, make your own hotel arrangements, drops and pick-ups from the airport, and so on. Not disclosing these details is a good idea simply because, if you are not happy meeting your date, you can leave his city without leaving a trace. A hired car to go around the city is an advantage. Decide on a neutral meeting place, a mall, or a restaurant away from where you are staying. A restaurant at your own hotel is a no-no too. Once you feel that seeing your date and spending time with him face-to-face has been a comfortable experience, and would like to meet him again, then you can reveal where you are staying. Caution for your own security is of utmost importance. If things do not work out on the first meeting, you can walk out without being apologetic. If you do not feel like meeting again, follow your instinct as you are not duty bound to do so. This must not upset you at all, as the world is full of eligible people, and surely, someday you will meet an amiable person., who will be right for you.
DISCLOSUREAll the information contained in the DateChecked portfolio of backgrounds, has been provided by the members themselves, and is current and relevant on the date it is sought by members. Instances of bankruptcy, criminal or civil trial cases in court, convictions, harassment cases, traffic cases, marriage, and any other events that take place after DateChecked has provided the information background, cannot be incorporated by us, nor can we be held responsible for them. We are also not responsible for incidents not disclosed by the member at the time of conducting the background search. All information gathered by the DateChecked team is strictly confidential and cannot be divulged to anyone for any reason. Any additional information required by a member As you move to the next level in your dating relationship can be provided as an easy one-click solution. Use of other resources or charges for employing Mate Check Investigations is separate and not covered by the fee of DateChecked.
GUEST EDITORIAL: Yes, there really is online “dating” By James Houran, Ph.D February 2006
It is really exciting to be a part of the team at Online Dating Magazine. I am not writing a piece of prose, just putting down my thoughts on “online dating”. I recently read an article about Justin Hall, the father of web logging (blogging), who wrote web logs about his life for 11 years while he had immense faith in the bonding powers of interactive, web-based writing, his dabbling with online dating made him express serious doubt over the ability of the Internet to promote intimacy between two individuals. With this his online presence came to an end. I am inclined to believe that he became convinced that intimacy on the Net was just a façade. Before we go deeper into his convictions, it is important to understand the term “online dating”. The term online dating is actually a part of the online matchmaking industry, whose sole aim is to provide a forum for people to meet and get to know each other. Sometimes genuine connections are forged, even though many claim that people cannot “date” on the net, they can simply “meet”. This makes online dating services into simply “Online introductory services”. I choose to disagree, despite Justin Hall’s unhappy experience, and am convinced about the internet’s ability to forge serious, lasting relationships that are as successful as those between two people who meet personally.
A “date”, according to the Merriam-Webster’s Online Dictionary is an”appointment to Meet at a specified time; especially, a social engagement between two persons that often has a romantic character.” This definition does not limit the social engagement in terms of place or context, thereby opening possibilities of a romantic interlude between two people not in close proximity, as is the case online. It is believed by many that today, the internet is the preferred place for social gatherings. Stowe Boyd, President of the Courante think tank, calls cyberspace the new”third place”. A third place is actually a place away from the first two in people’s lives, that is, home and work place. These could be places of entertainment, rest, relaxation and recreation, including bars and pubs, clubs and cafes, hair and beauty salons, pool halls or amusement parks. These informal meeting places have a significant impact on the psychological, social and political well-being of society. However, sociologists are inclined to believe that flourishing capitalism has moved people away from these traditional third places. Research reveals that people are meeting fellow citizens less frequently, joining fewer social organizations, signing fewer petitions, spending less time with neighbors, and stopping less often to exchange pleasantries with known people. Instead, people are increasingly crowding chat rooms, cyber cafes, discussion forums and joining online dating and social networking websites. A disturbing question that haunts many is whether the cyber world is a healthy third place. Many are convinced about lasting relationships having simple beginnings on the net. That there are drawbacks in the web world as a meeting place cannot be denied. Firstly people may never be able to portray themselves accurately, or even judge others rationally by simply reading facts about them. The second and more dangerous allegation is that of a set of people living their fantasies through the net. Lack of accountability and anonymity both combine to encourage people to portray themselves as someone far removed from their own personalities. However, sociologists like Michael Hardey, are of the opinion that this “disembodied Anonymity” can act as a foundation for building trust and establishing serious real world relationships. Other researchers have come to similar conclusions. McKenna and his colleagues found that individuals meeting online for the first time are more likely to reveal their “true selves”(who they really think they are), and not their “actual selves”(how they think they should be seen). The chances of liking each other on the net are higher the first time, rather than face to face, when anxiety and the desire to please leads to more errors and faux pas. In fact , statistical data collected by McKenna and his team proves that relationships that started online are more stable and long-lasting than those that started with a face-to-face introduction.
Researcher Andrea Baker moved a step further to examine the factors differentiating successful and unsuccessful couples meeting online for the first time. She found four common general variables can be used to gauge a couple’s ability for long-term “compatibility”: * The Meeting Place- common specific interests would determine the site on which they meet online. This signals a similarity in outlook and a foundation for long term compatibility
* Sacrificing to be together-their ability to fight obstacles of distance, work assignments and finances, negotiation of other relationships to consider relocation
*Moving at a cautious pace- taking a certain amount of time to get to know each other online. Meeting in person only when they are convinced that they wish to proceed, and postponing sexual involvement, these reflect a maturity in approach that will eventually promote long term relationships.
*Ways of communicating-This reflects their ability to understand each other, learning to handle conflicts, accepting each other’s style of communicating which will only enhance online satisfaction and pave the way for a satisfactory real life relationship.
I believe that Baker’s findings reflect that prolonged and “no superficial contact” will be of immense help to counter the ill effects of “hyper personal communication”. Hyper personal communication is a term for online daters, which implies that people meeting online have to make a series of assumptions to be able to form opinions about others. Their mental attitude influences their perception about others about whom there is limited evidence anyway. People take cues from real life to forge online relationships. Unfortunately there are some who give vent to real life frustrations by being devious in their online interactions. This can cause severe damage to more than one person. It is essential, therefore to employ all the possible “tools” of online dating. These tools include detailed rather than sketchy personal profiles, personality outlines, digital photographs, real-time chat possibilities with web cameras, emails and instant messaging. With these the drawbacks of communication are also taken care of and will foster longer serious relationships. According to me, this is the “crux” of the definition of dating. A sincere piece of advice for the time you graduate from online dating to an offline, real life relationship, is to keep expectations low and more realistic, because the real world is also different from the cyber world, with real feelings and emotions on display, which may also include anger, frustrations and tensions, all of which would require patience and tolerance. These feelings may never surface online. A study that I published with Statistician and researcher Rense Lange, revealed that “online attitude of daters toward online dating does not significantly distort the anticipated quality and quantity of their computer dates”. The participants in the study reported an anticipated 50% probability that individuals rated as perfectly compatible by online testing tools would prove satisfactory when they met in person. This just goes on to reflect that those who resort to online dating, are optimistic about the success of the relationship, and go in to it with the same mental makeup as one would approach real life dating. The casual dater would remain so online and offline.
To conclude, we have reason to believe that the Internet can indeed foster long term romantic relationships. Today’s online matchmaking facilitates novices groping in the dark, with various tools and safety measures. While a soul mate cannot always be guaranteed, there is reason to be optimistic that someone somewhere is waiting to meet you online and begin an enduring relationship. Done responsibly and correctly, online dating is a great thing.
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