Signs of Infidelity / Cheating / Adultery - What to look for if you suspect an affair, cheating, or unfaithful behavior that is causing infidelity

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Signs of Infidelity / Cheating / Adultery

· Infidelity

In a religious context, infidelity is considered to be an absence of faith in the beliefs or teachings of a religion; and one who lacks such faith is called an infidel. According to recent word usages, infidelity or unfaithfulness is a voluntary failure to comply with implied or explicit sexual (and commonly, emotional) traditions, such as commitment to monogamy. Statistics show that 85% of women who feel their lover is cheating are correct and 50% of men who feel their lover is cheating are also correct. If you have become suspicious, and think there may be warnings or signs of infidelity coming from your spouse or partner, consider some of the following and try to be as impartial as you possibly can.

Different couples (or groups) and even different individuals may have different ideas about what constitutes infidelity. Infidelity within marriage is called adultery. For example, a person may not want his or her partner flirting with anyone else, or they may accept flirting but could draw the line elsewhere, at maybe petting, for example. Some people may be comfortable with their partner having limited sexual contact with others, or could even allow intercourse with others. There are a myriad of different things that may or may not be considered adultery or cheating. More examples of this may include a person who identifies as heterosexual tolerating his or her partner engaging in homosexual but not heterosexual acts with others, or vice versa.

· Adultery

Adultery is most commonly defined as consensual sexual intercourse by a married person with someone other than his or her lawful spouse. In a great deal of jurisdictions, an unmarried person who is sexually involved with a married person is considered to be an adulterer.

A commonly used synonym for adultery is infidelity, other popular ones are unfaithfulness or in conversational speech, cheating. It was also known in earlier times by the legalistic term, alienation of affection.

The sexual partner of a person committing adultery is often referred to in legal documents (especially in divorce proceedings) as a co-respondent, while the person whose spouse has been unfaithful is often labeled a cuckold. Originally, the latter term was applied only to males, but in more recent times women have been characterized in this way as well. A marriage in which both spouses agree that it is acceptable to have sexual relationships with other people is termed an open marriage. The resulting sexual relationships, though still adulterous, are not treated as such by the spouses within such a marriage.

Historically, adultery has been subject to severe sanctions and punishments including the death penalty and also has been grounds for divorce under fault-based divorce laws. In some places the method for punishing adultery has been stoning to death. In the original Napoleonic Code, a man could ask to be divorced from his wife if she committed adultery, but the adultery of the husband was not a sufficient motive unless he had kept his concubine in the family home. In many jurisdictions (i.e., Austria, Korea, Taiwan), adultery is still illegal. In the United States, laws vary from state to state. For example, in Pennsylvania, adultery is technically punishable by 2 years of imprisonment or 18 months of treatment for insanity (for history, see Hamowy).

That being said, such statutes are typically considered blue laws, and are rarely, if ever, enforced. In the U.S. Military, adultery is a court-marital offense only if it was "to the prejudice of good order and discipline" or of a nature to bring discredit upon the armed forces. This has been applied to cases where both partners were members of the military (and particularly where one is in command of the other), or one partner and the others spouse. The enforceability of criminal sanctions for adultery is very questionable in light of Supreme Court decisions that have been made since 1965 relating to privacy and sexual intimacy, particularly in light of Lawrence v. Texas. This case apparently recognized a rather broad constitutional right of sexual intimacy for consenting adults.

QUICK CHECK LIST OF SIGNS OF CHEATING

Working lots of overtime
Excessive use of the Internet
Additional mileage on the car
Hanging out with new friends
Smells of perfume, cologne, or alcohol
Hiding phone or cell-phone bill
Using a pager
No longer interested in sex
No longer wearing a wedding ring
Saying "I need space"
Sudden increase in time away from home
Often distracted and daydreaming
Not returning phone calls in a timely fashion
Asking about your schedule more than usual
Getting his or her laundry done independently
Using more Viagra
Paying more attention to clothes and accessories
More interested in trying new things sexually than before
Less attentive
Less interested in family issues
Has more cash on hand than usual
Has unexplained receipts or personal effects in wallet
Has unexplained payments on bank statement
Has gas credit card receipts from gas stations at uncommon locations
Getting suspicious phone messages
Making unusually long phone calls
Visiting unusual sites on the Internet
Getting uncommon e-mail messages
Becomes nervous when watched when on the phone or computer

Signs of Infidelity: I Fell Out of Love...
and just love being in love

If there is one central and most commonly used excuse for infidelity it is: “I fell out of love.” This usually means that your partner no longer feel sexually attracted to you, or is sexually attracted to someone else, for the time being, at least. This may also mean that they need to spice up their life with giddy and exciting highs and a bit of intrigue every so often.

Infidelity has different faces...and different signs and patterns. Did you know that there are 7 different kinds of affairs? Well, there may be more, but after a couple decades of clinical work and research, I've identified 7. And, if you look carefully, you will find that each form of infidelity carries different signs and markers. Know those specific signs of infidelity and you can save yourself much grief.

The following are some patterns and some signs of cheating you can expect in this kind of an affair:

1. Hang on to your seat. This may end up being quite a ride, much like a thrill ride at Sandusky. There is likely to be many ups and downs, riddled with melodramatic panache. Watching your spouse go through this roller coaster ride can leave you somewhat dizzy. Your partner will give his or her all to this new-found "love" and at other times they might find their way back to you.

2. Typically, you will struggle with being ignored and feeling relatively dreadful about the idea that you can no longer provide the love this other person seems to be able to provide. You might find yourself questioning your capacity to love and your level of desirability. His affections will obviously be centered on that other person.

3. Your partner may want to tell you about this other person. Not only could he want you to be aware of the other person he/she may desire to share with you some of the details of this relationship. He might want you to become involved. This very often creates an intense triangle that most definitely creates drama. Remember that many classical love stories are dramas, complete with a triangle; he "falls in love" with the forbidden or unattainable princess. Often the drama ends as a tragedy, such as in Romeo and Juliet. - Shakespeare

4. Expect some juvenile behavior such as love letters or e-mail, special names one another, special promises, secrets that are only for the two of them, etc. Some of these affair type relationships could be the result of unfinished business from their adolescence. Perhaps he was responsible for the family or beset by some trauma. It is possible that they may have had internally or externally imposed injunctions that precluded him/her from dating, and socializing with the opposite sex. Your cheating partner may have never experienced "falling in and out of love" a number of times, which is so important and vital for adolescent development.

5. You are likely to hear the persistent phrase, "I love you, but I'm not in love with you." Your partner may truly "like you" and depend on your stability, as well as your goodness and understanding. The thought of losing what he or she already has tends to keep a cheating partner attached to you. Their fear of losing that which is stable and enduring in life may conflict with his or her need to follow his feelings. I addition, the possibility of this loss may point to the internal emptiness that stirs up especially uncomfortable feelings and thoughts. This is yet another part of the roller coaster ride.

6. Your partner may feel very badly about this inability to love you as well as the inability not to love the other person. He or she may express great remorse for the dilemma. They may also proclaim deep sadness for hurting you. But as you know, for the time being they have no control and their feelings are driving them. Your cheating partners concern for you indicates a superficial understanding of relationships. Or maybe, this “concern" for you may be a manipulative attempt to find an easier out of the marriage.

7. Expect feelings for the other person to fade. They will fade quickly if this is a pure "I've fallen out of love (and just love being in love)" affair. The romance of adolescent love affairs, such as this, starts quickly and ends just as abruptly. If, however, other issues come into play, such as, resentment and/or the inability to say no, you have a more complicated situation that takes longer to resolve.

When you think that your spouse is having an affair, you are likely to begin looking for different signs of cheating. The trouble is deciphering what is innocent behavior and what is really a sign of infidelity? How can a person tell if something is going on? Below is some information that can help you make sense of what to look for if you think your spouse may be having an affair. While this article was written for both men and women, most of the clues can help you decide what is going on in either case. Some of these signs of cheating are "tongue in cheek" while others are tell-tale signs that commonly appear with a cheating husband or cheating wife.

Clues Your Partner is Cheating

Some of these signs of cheating are "tongue in cheek" while others are tell-tale signs that commonly appear with a cheating husband or cheating wife.

1) You find birth-control pills in her medicine cabinet, and you've had a vasectomy.

2) Mutual friends start acting strangely toward you. (They either know about the cheating or have been told stories about what a horrible wife or girlfriend you are.)

3) Your cheating husband or wife stops confiding in you and stops seeking advice from you.

4) Sets up a new e-mail account and doesn't tell you about them.

5) He leaves the house in the morning smelling like Irish Spring and returns in the evening smelling like Safeguard.

6) She joins the gym and begins a rigorous workout program.

7) She buys a cell phone and doesn't give you the number or tell you about it.

8) He sets up a separate cell phone account that is billed to his office.

9) The cheating husband carries condoms, and you are on the pill.

10) Begins to delete all incoming phone calls from the caller ID.

11) Deletes all incoming e-mails when they used to accumulate.

12) He becomes "accusatory," demanding to know if you are being true to him, usually out of guilt.

13) Raises hypothetical questions such as, "Do you think it's possible to love more than one person at a time?"

14) He buys himself new underwear.

15) He insists the child seat, toys, etc., are kept out of his car.

16) The cheating wife stops wearing her wedding ring.

17) Has a sudden desire to be helpful with the laundry.

18) Has unexplained scratches or bruises on his or her neck or back.

19) Suddenly wants to try new love techniques.

20) He/she fairly suddenly stops having sex with you.

21) He/she suddenly wants more sex, more often.

22) Supposedly works a lot of overtime, but it never shows up on the pay stub.

23) Picks fights in order to stomp out of the house.

24) You find out by accident he or she took vacation day or personal time off from work - but supposedly worked on those days.

25) Shows a sudden interest in a different type of music.

26) Spouse's co-workers are uncomfortable in your presence.

27) Has a sudden preoccupation with his or her appearance.

28) Spends an excessive amount of time on the computer, especially after you have gone to bed.

29) He throws up a lot because he just ate at his mistress's house and had to eat the dinner you prepared when he got home.

30) Your spouse is away from home, either nights or on trips, more than previously.

31) His/her clothes smell of an unfamiliar perfume or after-shave. You see lipstick on your husband's shirt.

32) The amount of money being deposited into your checking account drops off.

33) You find items of intimate apparel or other small gift-type items that you did not give your spouse.

34) Your spouse seems less comfortable around you and is "touchy" and easily moved to anger.

35) You get calls where the caller hangs up when he or she hears your voice.

36) He/she loses attention in the activities in the home.

37) Your intuition (gut feeling) tells you that something is not right.

38) He/she has a definite change in attitude towards everyone in the home.

39) She uses a low voice or whisper on the phone or hangs up quickly.

40) She has a "glow" about her.

41) Atypical erratic behavior.

42) He sneaks out of the house.

43) She sleeps with her purse by the bed

44) she goes to the store for groceries and comes home 5 hours later.

45) He tells you that you can get hold of him at a different telephone number.

46) The telltale signs of a cheating spouse are, having to ask these questions in the first place.

Think you may be facing infidelity or adultery?

Contact the infidelity and adultery private investigators who specialize in getting you proof. You do not need to live in fear and anxiety. Call us today and speak with one of our investigators. The call is free and confidential. +1 (866) 640.1010.

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